Chapter 8, Page 4


relationship book

 “Your life will be an exact reflection of
How you program your mind.”
— Bart A. Baggett



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Chapter 8 continued...

Stingers (Danielle Story)

She had big stingers in her a’s and d’s. (See Figure 8.5)  This trait tells me she needs a challenge.  The harder a man is to get, the more she wants him.  The trait itself goes much deeper into the subconscious. It has to do with an internal anger toward the opposite sex.  This resentment or anger is released by capturing or controlling the man for a short period of time.   The bedroom is often the only place a woman can control a man.  Most women know that a man is most easily lead astray by his loins.  


Stinger Example

Figure 8.5: Stinger


This challenge aspect runs deep in our society.  It is common for a person to want someone a little challenging. However, this trait denoted by the stinger signifies that the person has a deep subconscious desire for a constant challenge to satisfy this anger.  It is a deep emotional issue, which leads to constant challenges, conflicts, and often problems.   If you see a woman or a man with it in their handwriting, don’t ever become their sole possession.  Always keep that element of “you have to chase me if you want me, because I don’t need you.”  The stinger trait applies equally to both genders.

In Danielle’s case, playing hard to get was the perfect strategy.  Even without seeing her handwriting I knew it was. As pretty as she was, how many guys got near her bedroom and didn’t try to sleep with her?  Not many.  If they didn’t, they must have either been gay or knew exactly how to handle this type of woman pychology

The second reason I knew she might become involved with me quickly is because she had the live-for-the-moment code of ethics.   Her ethics depended on which side of the bed she woke up on.  In other words, her ethics were based on her circumstances… not some internal code of right and wrong.  This is signified by handwriting with no upper loops. Later in the trip with Danielle, she outlined her sense of morality. In a nutshell, she said, “I only sleep with guys that I like.” You will often hear them talk about religion or morality, but it came from someone else’s research and words.  It is just lip service.  They change morality with the circumstances they find themselves in.  Some would call this immature. It isn’t always negative, but it shows up that way. 

It took the five-hour trip to really get to know the girl behind the handwriting.  In the handwriting, I saw a huge imagination, a very low self-image, a lack of morality, and a self-castigating complex. (Self-castigation is a t-bar being crossed to the left, toward self with a sharp point).  As we talked, her stories painted the sketch I had in mind.  As I heard her life story, I realized she attracted people that would actually punish her.  Her last boyfriend actually beat her on a regular basis.   She always put herself in situations to be punished.  It was very sad.


She stayed with her ex for two reasons.  First, she thought she deserved the punishment.  That backward t-bar says the subconscious needs to be punished to release some of the guilt.  In fact, this trait was such a part of her that the only type of books she read were true crime novels —books which tell the stories of serial killers and rapists.  Yes, she filled her mind with garbage that confirmed all the misery she felt in her own life.  (Sick, isn’t it?)  The mind is a very powerful computer.  Your life will be an exact reflection of how you program your mind.  Her mind turned into reality many of the terrible situations that she read about in those books.  The second reason she stayed with a woman–beater is that her self-esteem was very low.  She didn’t have the courage to leave the bastard.  She had no faith in her own abilities to make it on her own. To make matters worse, she had financially supported him.  Why would anyone get in a relationship like that?  The answer is within a person’s needs, not wants.   I think she finally left him when he got arrested for selling and using drugs.  But she went directly into another miserable relationship.  Her self-esteem was so low, the only time she felt desired was when she was in bed with a man.  This is an example of how a woman with low self-esteem abuses sex much like a person abuses drugs.  The temporary high one gets is always offset by the down feeling after the drug wears off. 


In Danielle’s case, her imagination was so active (huge lower loops), each sexual experience was tremendous.  It was like comparing cocaine to coffee.  Her imagination amplified every sexual experience to a bigger and better experience. To be blunt, she understood her body.  But this imagination has its drawbacks. The feeling is so grand; she needs sex more often than the average person.  She constantly thinks about it. When she gets it, she wants it in different positions and places.  This exaggeration tendency also goes beyond sex. Every emotion or fear is exaggerated. Therefore, when she felt scared, she was terrified.  When she broke a nail, call 911!

I’m the type of guy who helps little birds with broken wings.  I could tell she was scared and really wanted to feel loved.  I felt like a boy who had picked up a hurt puppy and was bringing it home to Mom.  Her past experiences explained many of her problems.   She had many significant emotional experiences that caused her pain.  Her dad had molested and raped her.  She had been raped as an adult as well.  In fact, we were driving through Lubbock, Texas, and we passed a specific motel.  She unemotionally pointed it out to me as the place she was raped.  This really didn’t surprise me.  It did sadden me. It did surprise me when she pointed out two more motels and mentioned they had remodeled them since the last time she had stayed there.  How many nineteen-year-old women know what the motels are like in a Bible-thumping town like Lubbock, Texas?  I realized she had been using sex for many years to survive.  She even knew the names of the strip clubs in the town.  I didn’t know Lubbock had any strip clubs!  She said she just served drinks, but never danced.  But I wondered.   Not all women with big lower loops, no ethics, and low self-esteems are this sexual active, but it’s a good indicator that they are sexually very open minded and active.

Note: A guy with big lower loops and a low self-esteem can be just as “sexual.”  However, in American society those guys are called studs.  It just doesn’t seem fair.  Language and labeling are a destructive game. One which I am totally guilty of playing. Accept my apologies.

Remember, it was the combination of many traits that made Danielle so unique.   Her behavior was a result of the combination of her sociopathic behavior, low self-esteem, strong sex drives, anger toward men, and her self-castigating behavior.   Each trait is like a chemical.  When you mix them together, you often get a combustible reaction. Danielle was very combustible.  


The next chapter is all about combustible personalities.  Now that you know how to spot a certain sex drive, ask yourself what else you get with it?  I found out personally that there is more to a great partner than a good sex drive.  In fact, I have made more than my fair share of dating blunders.  It is time to dig more into my tumultuous past and reveal some of my past mistakes.

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