RESOURCE
DIRECTORY
Change Your Life:
The Secrets to Making Love Happen!
"Top Secrets"
Chapter 1, Page 5 (Partial excerpt)
Choosing Intelligently
You may be thinking to yourself, "Bart, would you really
pick your girlfriend by her handwriting?" And the answer would
be,"I would never get involved with someone before seeing her
handwriting!"
Although the personality, as revealed by handwriting, is the most important factor, there are many other factors in picking your mate. You can't overlook such factors in life as attractiveness, finances, location, education, heritage, values, religion, etc. Let's face it, no matter how great her handwriting is, if she is a 600 lb., grotesque, mustache-toting slobbering sloth that doesn't speak English... I'm not dating her! Your standards may be different. Everyone has a profile of what is sexy. A comedian once said, "There are no impotent men, only unattractive women." Although his analogy is chauvinistic, inaccurate, and a bit harsh, it does illustrates one aspect of a healthy relationship. You must have some physical attraction toward your mate. Therefore, keep in mind all the factors that create a compatible mate for yourself, including personality and physical attractiveness.
Values
When picking a new relationship, I want to make sure that her
basic core values and beliefs are similar to mine. For example,
you don't want to get involved with a Jehovah's Witness if you are
equally dedicated to Catholicism. These core values and beliefs
might be too different to blend together. It would be difficult
for me as an American to fall in love with a die-hard Communist.
It wouldn't be impossible, but it would take tremendous effort on
both our parts to live together with such fundamental differences
in politics and life goals. But as I think about it, if she
looked anything like the Russian spies in the James Bond movies,
I'd become a Communist for the evening in a New York minute.
Individuals can adapt to most cultural differences over time.
You can get used to someone eating matzo ball soup relatively
simply. However, the individual personality idiosyncrasies are
not as easily adapted to in an intimate relationship. In other
words, a stubborn Russian or a stubborn American is still stubborn.
The reason for looking for similarity is simple: rapport. The more similarities that two people have, the more they will like each other. As humans, we tend to find familiar territory more comfortable. We may venture out for excitement, but we are always more comfortable at home. Would you have tea with the Queen of England dressed in your underwear, without combing your hair or taking a shower? I hope not. The point is the more similar we are to each other, the more we feel we understand one another.
Three simple questions to
establish values
Although our personality traits may be similar, our dispositions
and/or our belief structures may be entirely different, causing
problems. Handwriting is the key to revealing the most relevant
elements of compatibility with the least investment of time and
effort. However, don't overlook the most obvious method for
eliciting someone's values: ask. In a short conversation you
can ask questions to discover if someone's highest values are
in line with your own. For example, if someone says career and
love are important in life, ask, "If you had to choose just one
right now, which would you choose, career or love?" The answer,
"I love my career," isn't exactly what you're looking for.
Below is a list of values that
you need to rank the in order of importance in your own life.
Keep your highest values in mind
when searching for your ideal mate. Feel free to add to this list
if your values aren't listed.
- Achieving
- Adventure
- Career
- Comfort
- Contribution
- Creativity
- Family
- Freedom
- Friendship
- Fun/Happiness
- God
- Health
- Strength/Vitality
- Helping Others
- Honesty
- Intimacy
- Investment
- Knowledge
- Learning/Growing
- Love
- Making a Difference
- Passion
- Power
- Security
- Spirituality
- Success
Have you ever been on a blind date? Imagine the insight you would have had if you looked at her handwriting before you met her. Imagine the embarrassment if you told her everything you know from her writing before seeing her face-to-face, "I see here that you are overly sensitive to criticism, you lie a lot, and you are obviously sexually frustrated!" Actually, I've been that blunt before and it's quite a coup. I don't recommend it. This approach doesn't have a positive, rapport-building effect. If the blind date was the one above, I would just keep those things to myself, compliment her, not believe a word she said, and attempt to solve her sexual frustration problem without calling attention to the fact it is a problem. You can do the same.
I've had many past relationships in various forms. Some were good, some were not so good. I've also interviewed many others and documented their experiences. I've included many of these experiences as prime examples of the principles I am teaching. Hopefully, you will learn from others' past mistakes.
"Experience is not the best teacher. Someone else's experience is the best teacher!" ...Curtis Baggett
One experience I had was with a lively, vivacious, bouncy, and happy, redhead named Marsha. She talked very fast and used her hands to express herself. I talk fast and laugh a lot, therefore rapport was developed through our similar communication style. It wasn't until after our first date that I got the chance to see her handwriting. Uh oh! She had insatiable sex drives (huge y's), low self esteem (low t-bar), hidden anger for men (hook in a d), and a dual personality (variable slant). I would normally have ended it right away, but I had already allowed the physical attraction to affect my emotions. My logic was not in control. That was my first mistake. Don't let your sex drive do your decision-making for you!
I thought it would be wise for me to investigate this girl further. As I listened to the grapevine, her past was just as tumultuous as her handwriting. It turned out that she had already slept with many of my friends and did not have the greatest reputation for stability or self-respect. In this case, the stories I heard about her verified what I saw in her handwriting. In most cases, you won't have access to his or her case history because they may not tell you the truth. Good news: the handwriting will tell you the truth every time.
Now that you know who you are and what kind of personality you want in your next mate, it is time to prepare yourself to be successful in your next love affair. The next chapter prepares you for that wonderful experience called romance.
Information about Bart A. Baggett
Questions or comments? Send e-mail
to:
mail@myhandwriting.com
Copyright © 1995-1999 Bart A. Baggett, All Rights Reserved
Last updated September 17, 1999
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